We’ve been through four editions of D&D now, and the only half races that we’ve had the options of playing were half-elf and half-orc? What, dwarves are good enough to fight along side of, but not to marry your daughter? Pelor forbid that your son bring home a halfling girlfriend! Humans are too good for gnomes, but not above orcs? Okay, now they’ve gone and shoved those kids in the closet now too! While we’re at it, why can’t a gnome marry a dwarf, or an elf for that matter?
Come on guys, it’s time that we break down some of these barriers, and let people be free to love!
Tags: Dungeons & Dragons
The hidden human racial trait is “Will fuck anything that moves.”
Okay, but the numbers:
Dwarves: Find humans too hideous to marry? Lets face it, dwarves come off as as sensual and sexually interested in the world around them as a 95 year old nun. I suspect that dwarves just aren’t that interested.
Halfings: Due to the traditional descriptions used for halflings, I suspect the subject of “half halflings”, ignoring the linguistic pain, were not included because Gary Gygax felt like a pedophile whenever he thought about it. Since he didn’t wish to think of himself as a rampant sexual abuser of children, half halflings were not included.
Gnomes: As above with an additional level of kink.
One could also make a good argument that just because man will boink anything doesn’t mean that man can successfully reproduce with anything. There is some mercy to this given that buggery laws were put in place for a reason. “This is my half sheep son.”
half halfling = Quarterlings? I think there was a half-kender in one novel I read, and kenders are pretty much halflings.
Also, isn’t the minotaur in greek mythology the offspring of human and a bull? There’s an idea, half sheep, half human woolietaur! Good low level encounter I think.
I remember there was an RPG-oriented BBS in my area, and there was a file for a new cross-breed race called “Dwelves.”
Half-elves have something of a precedent in LotR and such, but I think other half-breeds would’ve been the kind of thing Gygax would’ve written long diatribes against in Dragon magazine.
What I would like to see is rules for making characters that were adopted by another race’s culture, a la Carrot from Discworld, a tall human with red-orange hair who was raised by dwarfs.